


too late?

by hbalbat



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, Protective Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hbalbat/pseuds/hbalbat
Summary: You are a part of the Howling Commandos and go on the train with all of them to stop Zola. After a HYDRA soldier’s blast causes Bucky to land outside of the train and (eventually) fall, you tell Steve to stop Zola while you and the rest of the Commandos go to rescue Bucky. However, all is not as it seems.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 16





	too late?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy the story if you read it! ❤️ I’m still really new to this, but I gave it my best shot 😅. Although my only writing has been Bucky x Reader, I’m hoping to get some more Steve x Bucky or Steve x Reader written too, at least eventually! I have some ideas; I just haven’t gotten the chance to write anything yet.

“Mind the gap,” you hear Falsworth warn, slight amusement on his face. In the distance, you can see the vast landscape, the mountains covered in snow. You and the other Howling Commandos prepare to zipline down to Zola’s train, hoping to stop him. Although you are nervous, you put on a brave face and do your best to prepare yourself mentally.

“Are you going to be alright?” Bucky questions. He gives you a look of concern, his brows furrowed and his lips pressed together. Looking up at him, you nod and swallow your fear. You can hear the train getting closer, and you know it is almost time.

Grabbing the ice-cold metal bar in your gloved hands, you breathe out one last calming breath, looking at the steam in the frigid air as you do. You’re glad that your navy peacoat, matching Bucky’s, can keep you warm in this winter weather.

When Dernier gives you the signal, you step off the mountain and feel the cold air hit your face. Although you want to yelp in fear, you stay quiet as not to let your shout ring throughout the Alps. With Steve and Bucky in front of you and the rest of the Commandos close behind, you drop down onto the speeding train.

“We’ll keep watch on top; you three take out the soldiers inside. Alright?” Gabe insists, gesturing to you, Steve, and Bucky. “Yup, and we’ll meet you back up here once we stop Zola,” you agree. Carefully, you, Bucky, and Steve make your way into the train from the top.

The cars of the train are filled with supplies and shelves. They are useful for blocking shots from HYDRA soldiers, at least. While Steve has his shield, you and Bucky are pretty much defenseless. Holding your guns, you keep yourselves armed as you walk through the train car.

Remaining silent, you and Bucky walk into the next car. Behind you, the door slams shut. You jump behind a shelf and peer through the small window. Steve is still locked in the other train car. “Shit!” you hiss quietly. Someone is here. You look further into the car and see a HYDRA soldier shooting at Bucky. 

Without thinking, you whip out your rifle and begin shooting at the soldier. There is no way you’ll let him hurt your Bucky. You see him topple over, so you turn back to Bucky. “Empty,” he mutters under his breath. Another soldier barges through the door, and panic flows through you.

To you and Bucky’s surprise, the door closest to you bursts open, revealing Steve. He tosses another gun to Bucky and rams into the shelf, knocking down the soldier. You and Bucky stand to meet Steve, as Bucky reassures you and Steve that “he had him on the ropes.”

“I know you did,” you admit. The three of you chuckle softly before another HYDRA soldier comes crashing into the train car. “They just don’t stop coming, do they?” you ask, slightly out of breath. 

The soldier points his gun at the three of you, and Steve instinctively pulls you and Bucky behind the shield. The blast is strong enough to send you and Steve flying, while Bucky stayed by the shield. The side of the train breaks open, freezing air rushing into the car. 

Wincing in pain, you roll over to your side, trying to stand. The soldier doesn’t back down, and Bucky grabs the shield, blocking himself with it. With the soldier’s next blast, Bucky gets hit, flying back outside the car. 

Panicking, you sprint to the door, leaving Steve to get the soldier. Bucky is still here on the train, but gripping tightly onto a metal bar, knuckles white. All of your instincts kick in, and you reach for Bucky. There is no way you are going to let anything happen to him.

“Bucky, grab my hand!” you scream desperately, trying to get any sort of hold on him. Although you feel guilty, you leave Steve to handle the damned HYDRA soldier. Bucky returns the same look of fear on your face as he reaches out to you. The metal bar begins to creak. Time is running out.

“Quickly, Bucky!” you cry, trying to reach further. As Bucky tries to reach for your gloved hand, the metal bar gives one more creak and breaks off the train. Bucky wails as he falls, which causes guilt to flow through you. You stay on the edge of the train, grasping tightly to the metal. You begin to bawl, not wanting to accept what just happened to Bucky.

“Steve,” you tremble as you finally manage to pull yourself back into the freezing train car. He doesn’t see Bucky with you, and his jaw drops. “He…” you start, unable to finish. You and Steve don’t say another word for a minute, grieving in silence.

After contemplating the options as quickly as you can, you choose to suck it up. You know what you have to do. “Steve, you’re going to stop Zola. Now. I’m rallying the other Commandos, and we are going to save Bucky,” you assert as confidently as you can. You don’t even know what happened to him, but on the off chance that he is still alive and injured, you are not going to leave Bucky. You know you have to look for him. Steve nods and runs through the next door towards the front of the train.

While you pulled out your comm, you thought about the time at Azzano, when you and Steve had found Bucky in that experimenting room, strapped into that chair. It had been clear to you then that Zola had done something to change Bucky, and it was clear to you now. You just weren’t sure what. If there was any chance that Zola’s experiments could have helped Bucky survive the fall, there was no way in hell that you’d leave him behind.

Over the comms, you call the Commandos and tell them what had happened. There is radio silence on the other end. “I know boys, but we have to go down there. We have to look for him; we can’t leave him without searching. He could still be down there, injured,” you explain, sorrowful. “We’ll be down in a second. We need to jump off at the nearest snowbank so we can go back and search,” you hear Morita say. 

Moments later, Dugan, Falsworth, Morita, Jones, and Dernier climb down the ladder and make their way into the car. Although no one says anything, there is tension between the six of you. Gabe is the first to speak. 

“There is a snowbank coming up soon. We can all jump there and make our way down. Know that it’s going to take us a few hours to get back to where Bucky fell, even if we’re moving fast.” The other five of you nod solemnly and walk towards the wide-open wall of the train car.

On the signal, you all jump down into the snowbank, thick snow breaking your momentum. Quickly but carefully, you all make your way down the mountain and through the deep snow. The harsh wind beats against your face, leaving you flushed and frozen. 

The entire group hikes in silence, keeping a lookout for anyone or any signs of life. It takes a few hours, but eventually, you come across a pool of blood and compacted snow. Whatever made that mark couldn’t have been from any sort of animal; the area was too big. “He must have been through here,” Gabe says while he examines the spot. “This is right where he fell.” 

Your thoughts begin to spiral, thinking about the infinite amount of things that could have happened to Bucky. Did he try to get up and call for help? Was he captured? Did he try to find someone to get back to you? You weren’t sure. Just the thought of something terrible happening to him puts your stomach in knots.

Trying to stay focused, you look through to a clearing. The blood was trailing that way. “He had to have gone in that direction. But look, there are multiple sets of footprints.” your stomach drops, scared as to what that could have meant. You had taken hours to get down there; there was no other way to get down faster. Someone found him first. Not you, not Steve, not any of the Commandos. But who could have reached him before you?

A lump formed in your throat. HYDRA. They had been so fast to take him in and experiment on him at Azzano. They could have chosen any other soldier, but they wanted Bucky. Your Bucky. 

“Come on, boys, I think that HYDRA might have found him first,” you call, beginning to run through the dense snow, despite the challenge. The wind bit back at you as you fought back the tears, hoping Bucky would be alright.

You all followed the trail of old blood, which was relatively short. Whoever found Bucky knew that they had to get him back quickly. Eventually, the path led to a clearing, housing a HYDRA base. You sighed and clenched your fists, knowing full well that whatever Bucky was encountering in there was torture.

“Okay. Everyone needs to split and cover more ground. Take out any HYDRA soldiers you see. Got it?” you instruct. Everyone nods. Standing up, you sneak towards the base entrance and kill any of the HYDRA soldiers you encounter, swiftly knocking through the doors. Nothing will get in your way as you are on a rampant search for Bucky. You know that you need to get to him in time.

Making your way through the base, you look in every door in hopes of finding Bucky. You pay close attention to your surroundings and listen carefully for any sounds. All of a sudden, you hear cries for help from down the hall. “Bucky,” you think.

“Y/N? Steve? Morita? Dugan! Anybody!? ー AGHHH!” The names Bucky calls are quickly interrupted by shrieks of pain. Thoughts whizzing by, you sprint towards the sound.

Running down the hall and round the corner, you follow Bucky’s screams. You duck behind the wall, making sure not to show yourself to the HYDRA soldiers, or even Bucky. Peeking in, you notice something different. Bucky was missing his left arm. In its place was a massive piece of metal, some sort of robotic arm. Painted of the side of the gleaming metal was a bright red HYDRA star. 

You gasp quietly, unable to take in everything that happens. Your brow furrows in worry as you wonder what the HYDRA workers did to Bucky after he fell. Before you know what is going on, you are brought back to reality by more of Bucky’s screaming, this time really in pain. 

You shake your head and look in to see bucky strapped into a towering chair with a machine strapped to his head. Without another thought, you bust in, yelling to the other Commandos. Shortly after, they all come running in. You all work together to knock out any HYDRA soldiers and shut down the machine.

Rushing over, you pull the machine off of Bucky’s face. You rip off the straps and pull him out of the chair. You notice that he is much heavier this time, thanks to the heavy metal arm. “Bucky!? Are you okay? We saw you fall, but you’re still alive! What did they do to you?” you exclaim worriedly, not letting him get any sort of answer in.

“Who the hell is bucky? And who are you?” he questions, staring at you blankly. Before realizing what he said, Dugan speaks up.

“Come on, man, it’s us! The Howling Commandos! Steve just went to take down Zola with Phillips and Carter. The HYDRA soldier blasted you onto the train door, and you fell?” Dugan explains, hoping to jog Bucky’s memory. 

Bucky continues to look at all of you, clearly not remembering anything that happened. You choke as tears flood your eyes, not being able to accept what happened to him. Bucky didn’t recognize you, not anyone. Not even himself. And you had yourself to blame. If you had just helped to protect him a little bit more, if you had only reached a little further, he wouldn’t be in this situation…

You jolt awake and begin to cry, shaking with fear. You breathe quickly and heavily, trying to figure out if what you just experienced was a nightmare or if it was real. Your questions are answered when you feel the presence of Bucky’s warm hand wrapping around your waist, comforting you. 

You turn to Bucky, who woke up from the sound of your sobs. “I thought I lost you,” you whisper as you sniffled, tears running down your face. 

Bucky sits up with his jaw slightly open in confusion. He reaches forward and lets you wrap around him. You nestle your head into his chest and let your body shake from your sobs. “Hey, I’m here. I’ve got you now. Don’t worry,” he cooed as he held you tighter.

Smiling as you hug him back, you realize it was all a terrible dream, that you never actually had to experience that. Here he is, perfectly fine now, vibranium metal arm and all, sleeping with you. You’re grateful that you didn’t have to be in the war with Bucky, that you just get to know him for who he is now. And that is alright with you.


End file.
